B. Words and Word Choices

The words chosen are central in the success of any writing. This section looks at how to employ the types of words that make your writing appear more professional and your opinions more compelling.

6. Phrasing

Because written language can be read and re-read carefully, it must be more precise than spoken language which isn't normally designed to be "played back." This calls for a different set of values in written versus spoken expression. One of those differences is that the phrasing, or choice of words, used in written language must be very precise, much more so than that used in oral communication. Consider the following:

A. Dialects

Spoken language is regional by nature. All across the English-speaking world it's divided into dialects in which there are various expressions and in which different words mean different things. For instance, in British English "to knock up a girl" means "to knock on the door of her house," whereas "to be stuffed" over there is not "to eat too much" but means the same thing as "to be knocked up" in American English. Thus, dialectal expressions like these, if put in written form, can cause some confusion about what the author means when they're read outside their native culture.

As a result, writers who aim at a readership beyond their immediate locale must employ a more standardized language than they use in common parlance. In writing, you should take special care to avoid regionalisms such as:

1. just barely happened (say "recently");
2. findings, as in "archaeological findings" (say "finds" or "discoveries");
3. tell of, know of, speak of (say "about");
4. oftentimes (just say "often");
5. to suffer downfalls (say "suffer setbacks" or "experience a decline");
6. goes clear back to (just say "goes back to").

B. Prepositions

Watch how you use prepositions.* For instance, things are different from (not "than") other things, or connected to and with other things (not "between" or "into"). In general, common sense should tell you which preposition is right for which circumstance. Just visualize for a moment what you're saying, and the right preposition will be readily apparent.

C. Technical Jargon

Don't write with "big words" or technical jargon if you aren't sure about their correct usage. This usually leads to comical misstatements, the likes of which teachers love to collect and circulate. The classic example is: "Magellan circumcised the world, with a one-hundred foot clipper." If you don't know the difference between circumcising and circumnavigating, just say "sailed around."

All in all, it's impossible to list here all non-standard phrases that make your writing unclear to general readers of English. As with spelling (see #12), try to identify the specific problems which phrasing presents for you as you come across them.

7. Repetitions of Words

"Military success is what made the Romans successful in most of their successes."

Success, I get it! Repeated words are more than monotonous. They underscore a writer's failure to see all the facets of an argument because, if you have really thought about your topic and looked at it from several different perspectives, various aspects of the theme will have occurred to you.

Different aspects of a thesis require different expressions, that is, a different word reflecting a different perspective on your paper's theme as it relates to different circumstances. Different, got that? No? Then I'll show you by varying the words in what I just said, and see if the point isn't clearer. "Different aspects of a thesis require their own expressions, that is, a certain word chosen to reflect each individual perspective on the theme as it relates to particular circumstances." Well, even if the second sentence isn't clearer to you, at least it sounds more intelligent.

Especially deadly and monotonous is the repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of successive sentences: "The Romans conquered Gaul. The Romans spread their culture all over Europe. The Romans ate boatloads of bread." Avoid this sort of repetition, in particular. It lends a tone of speaking down to your reader, as if you were addressing a child, an attitude which won't go over well in academic discourse.

Remember, too, that not repeating words is one way to show how well you've done your homework, because by employing a diverse and subtle variety of expressions you show how hard you've wrestled with the issues before you. That is, the depth and range of your word choice hint at the thoroughness of your preparation. When your writing is richly textured, it's easier to believe your thinking is as well.

8. Noun Clusters

Avoid clusters of nouns where one acts as an adjective for another: "bloodline succession," "succession line," "land and property matters." Instead, use prepositions to link the nouns: "succession through a bloodline," "a line of succession," "matters concerning land and property." The prepositions add clarity to the phrase—they show more fully how the nouns relate to one another—and the meaning of your words becomes more readily apparent.

Here are some noun clusters I've recently encountered in student papers. See if you can figure out what they mean, and how to restate them so that they're clearer:

• war leader?
• children rulers?
• choosing skills?
• warfare tactics?
• administration abilities?
• the Mithras religion?
• feudalistic vassal pacts?
• a physical line division?
• a more culture description?
• a low birthright status?
• an overnight macho power thing?

Do you see why these phrases are imprecise? Can you rewrite them so that they speak to the reader more clearly? Try adding prepositions or turning the first noun into an adjective. If you can, you can see my point. If you can't, that's my point.